Human beings are such strange beings. We are so fragile in so many ways, yet strong and resilient. We have so much capacity for love and good and yet we choose anger and bad more times than not. We want to be loved, but have a hard time loving or being lovable. We react hatefully to those we love most and are kind to those we don't know.
I find it interesting how we react to things, smells, sights, sounds...sometimes we will smell something that takes right back to childhood and all the feelings good and bad associated with it. Now, I have always wanted this to be a place of hopefulness and be uplifting, but life isn't like that is it. It knocks about a bit and our bodies, as wonderful as they are, betray us and we have visceral reactions to things going on around us.
Years ago I was in a bad relationship, an abusive marriage. Not physically abusive, but emotionally abusive. He was controlling, jealous, used abusive language to make me feel less than a worm. I was in this relationship for three years. I swore I would not become a victim or have that mentality. I never really talked a lot about what happened or shared specifics, and I won't, because I didn't want to dwell on it, I didn't want to give him space in my head. That would have allowed him to continue to control me. It took a lot of strength for me to leave because I loved him.
It took me years of trusting God and studying His Word to realize that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." I am a child of the king! God healed me of the low self-esteem. I know who I am in Him. He also blessed me with a very kind and caring husband who has helped me by speaking uplifting and encouraging words to me.
But, as I mentioned before, about things taking us back in time...there is currently a person in my family's life who is not encouraging, does not speak words of kinds, tries to be controlling...and lately, I have had anxiety and a full blown panic attack when he goes off. It doesn't even involve me, I just hear it and I think, just stop, but my body goes into panic mode. I'll tell you what, I don't like that feeling. What is worse though is my part in the continued reactions, I dwell on his actions and words. I let them replay over and over in my mind and I get angry. Because of allowing myself to do this, I have given him power over me, and I need to take it back.
I was reading in James 1 today (my favorite book and chapter) and a different verse than normal stood out to me. It is James 1: 19-20, "Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be SWIFT TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK, SLOW TO WRATH: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." I have been swift to hear and slow to speak, but the wrath comes on pretty quickly. I have asked God to help me and what comes to mind, Colossians 3:1-4, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
I love reading God's Word. It just has a way of changing my attitude, a balm to a world weary soul. It isn't easy to do what God's Word says. It is counter-intuitive to how our brains work, but we can retrain our brains with consistency in God's Word, prayer, and having strong-Christian friends who will listen, think about the situation, not get angry and commiserate with me, but remind me of what God says and speak uplifting and encouraging words.
For the person who sets these emotions off in me, I need to pray, pray, pray and believe that Jesus can make a difference in his life like He did in mine. God loves him and wants him to come to him through His precious Son and so I love him and will work toward that end.
Friends, I want to ask you to join me in prayer for this person because he really needs Jesus.
Father,
I lift my hurting friend up to you. I ask that you do whatever it takes to get his attention. Send Your Holy Spirit to work in his heart. Father, give me the right words to say, help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Help me to love him as You love him and show him grace like You showed me grace.
Father, I lift up my readers to You and I ask that You bless them abundantly and grow them richly in Your love.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
I find it interesting how we react to things, smells, sights, sounds...sometimes we will smell something that takes right back to childhood and all the feelings good and bad associated with it. Now, I have always wanted this to be a place of hopefulness and be uplifting, but life isn't like that is it. It knocks about a bit and our bodies, as wonderful as they are, betray us and we have visceral reactions to things going on around us.
Years ago I was in a bad relationship, an abusive marriage. Not physically abusive, but emotionally abusive. He was controlling, jealous, used abusive language to make me feel less than a worm. I was in this relationship for three years. I swore I would not become a victim or have that mentality. I never really talked a lot about what happened or shared specifics, and I won't, because I didn't want to dwell on it, I didn't want to give him space in my head. That would have allowed him to continue to control me. It took a lot of strength for me to leave because I loved him.
It took me years of trusting God and studying His Word to realize that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." I am a child of the king! God healed me of the low self-esteem. I know who I am in Him. He also blessed me with a very kind and caring husband who has helped me by speaking uplifting and encouraging words to me.
But, as I mentioned before, about things taking us back in time...there is currently a person in my family's life who is not encouraging, does not speak words of kinds, tries to be controlling...and lately, I have had anxiety and a full blown panic attack when he goes off. It doesn't even involve me, I just hear it and I think, just stop, but my body goes into panic mode. I'll tell you what, I don't like that feeling. What is worse though is my part in the continued reactions, I dwell on his actions and words. I let them replay over and over in my mind and I get angry. Because of allowing myself to do this, I have given him power over me, and I need to take it back.
I was reading in James 1 today (my favorite book and chapter) and a different verse than normal stood out to me. It is James 1: 19-20, "Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be SWIFT TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK, SLOW TO WRATH: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." I have been swift to hear and slow to speak, but the wrath comes on pretty quickly. I have asked God to help me and what comes to mind, Colossians 3:1-4, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
I love reading God's Word. It just has a way of changing my attitude, a balm to a world weary soul. It isn't easy to do what God's Word says. It is counter-intuitive to how our brains work, but we can retrain our brains with consistency in God's Word, prayer, and having strong-Christian friends who will listen, think about the situation, not get angry and commiserate with me, but remind me of what God says and speak uplifting and encouraging words.
For the person who sets these emotions off in me, I need to pray, pray, pray and believe that Jesus can make a difference in his life like He did in mine. God loves him and wants him to come to him through His precious Son and so I love him and will work toward that end.
Friends, I want to ask you to join me in prayer for this person because he really needs Jesus.
Father,
I lift my hurting friend up to you. I ask that you do whatever it takes to get his attention. Send Your Holy Spirit to work in his heart. Father, give me the right words to say, help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Help me to love him as You love him and show him grace like You showed me grace.
Father, I lift up my readers to You and I ask that You bless them abundantly and grow them richly in Your love.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
