Confession

It is so easy to let sin into our lives.  Sometimes not intentionally, sometimes very intentionally. Letting even what we would consider a little sin in is never a good idea.  We tell ourselves, "just this once", or "it won't hurt anyone.  But, each time we give in it gets easier to do it again and again and again and sin starts to take root in our lives, a little like moss does on our roof.

When we let one little sin to take root in our lives and then water it by not confessing or repeating the sin, then it will grow and spread.  Just like moss.  Just one little piece from who knows where, a little rain, and viola, a moss covered fence, wall, path, you name it.  Now moss in general is not harmful, but when it gets on a roof it can break up your shingles, it holds water and pushes your shingles apart, then your roof starts to leak.  Just like when we let sin take root.  It might start out little, but each time we push the boundaries.  Soon, we are doing things that are destroying our lives and our families.   We need to stop feeding our sins, repent, and let God dry them up.  1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".

           

It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and putting what we want before what God wants for us. If we put Him first, He will be faithful to heal our relationships and lift us out of the sin.

Father, 

Forgive me for the thoughts I have that are not glorifying to you, forgive my ugly actions.  Help me Father to become more like Your son Jesus Christ.  

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Positives

Recently someone wrote five positives about me.  They are smart, loves learning, courageous, strong, and logical. I haven't decided how I feel about them yet.  Weird huh?  I mean who wouldn't like to be thought of as smart, loves to learn, courageous, strong, and logical?  Maybe they would seem more like positives and a compliment if that is how I felt about myself.  Let's take a look and compare:

Smart:  Well, a smart alec maybe.  I know a lot of stuff, but it is just stuff.  I have knowledge, but what I need and desire is wisdom.  Proverbs 1:7, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline".  Proverbs 3:7, "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil".  James 3:17, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  I may have knowledge (or be smart) but I need wisdom to know what to do with it.  The Bible tells me in James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask of God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given him.  Thank you Father.

Loves to learn:  Well, yes I do.  I like to be prepared.  Sometimes I just like to know things.  Again, this builds knowledge, but I still need wisdom.

Strong:  This is not the first person to tell me this.  In fact a couple months ago a dear lady I know told me how strong she always thought I was (as she held me while I sobbed in her arms).  It has been a rough season in a lot of ways.  The way I see it, I put on a good show.  I am strong willed, which is entirely different.  Most of the time I just want to curl up and cry.  I like to avoid things.  But, Jesus tells me in Isaiah 40:29, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak".  Psalm 119:28, "My soul is weary with sorrow, strengthen me according to Your word".  Isaiah 40:30-31, "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.  One last one, Habakkuk 3:19, "The sovereign LORD is my strength, He makes my feet like the deer, He enables me to go on the heights".  I love how God's word makes me feel.

Courageous:  Oh my, I am anything but courageous.  Inside, I'm terrified.  I'm afraid I'm going to fail at whatever I try to do.  I'm afraid to be alone, but also afraid of people.  I'm terrified to let anyone know the real me, to know how needy and imperfect I am.  My main verse to get me out my door and through the day is, Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.  It is only through Christ that I can even let anybody see this much of the real me.

 Logical:  I don't know where that one came from, but I'm about as logical as a 4 year old.  I have learned some logic and to try to think through things, but mostly I'm a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal.  I'm spontaneous, a fliberty-gibbit, mind-changing women.

I still haven't decided for sure how to take this, they are all good things, but it just shows how little this person really knows me.  How little of a relationship we really have.  It is sad really that I haven't gotten so good at hiding me that someone who I see every day hasn't even scratched the surface of who I really am.

Oh, I will keep working on things.  Trusting God.  Growing in Him.  I will also take comfort in the knowledge that God knows exactly who I am, how weak I am, how scared I am, how flightly I am, how unwise I am (even though I have some knowledge, it is all fluff).  Since I do love to learn, I will learn to trust Him more and learn to depend on Him more.

Father,
I thank you for making me, me.  I know I have a long ways to go and a lot to learn, but I put my life in Your hands and trust You will teach me and give me wisdom, strength, and courage.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

That Little Voice

As I think about what to write on this blog or what God wants me to do, I hear this voice saying why do you think you can talk about these things?  You are a hypocrite. You say one thing and do another. Your actions lately are very unbecoming.  I fear letting my friends even see this. They know me right? I know that voice can't possibly be God's because it is too loud and mean. And God doesn't make me feel bad about myself.  He lifts me up and lets me know I can do what He wants me to.

All I can say is I'm not perfect.  I make mistakes.  I grumble and complain.  I gossip.  I get grumpy.  But, I'm also a child of the king and he wants to help me grow and not do all those things. He wants me to grow and mature.  In the mean time, He has given me things to say.  And this really is about my growth in Him and my journey to improve my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  It is only with His grace and mercy that I can share this.

Each day as I spend time in His word and seek Him and talk to Him, we become closer.  I feel the Holy Spirit guiding me as I go through my day.  I'll get those gentle nudges of "that really isn't a good idea" or "should you really be saying that?".  Then it is up to me to listen and obey.

Dear Father in Heaven,
I ask that You guard my mouth, purge the thoughts that go through my mind that are not glorifying to you.  Father, I want my life to glorify you but I need You to guide me and teach me Your ways.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Freedom

Freedom.  What does that make you think of?  Let's find out what it means.

Freedom:

1.  the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.

2.  exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

3.  the power to determine action without restraint.

4.  political or national independence.

5.  personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery.

6.  exemption from the presence of anything specified (usually followed by from}

7.  the absence of or release from ties, obligations, etc.

 (from dictionary.com)

I like the word freedom.  I like the idea of freedom.  Free from schedules, things I don't want to do, places I don't want to go, or the freedom to do what I want, when I want, and how I want.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a free spirit.  Schedules and routines and someone telling me what to do, well, they are hard for me.  I feel all constrained and confined, trapped.  I get all jumpy and grumpy and twitching and ...you get the picture.  I know, I know, a lot of people feel this way.  Nobody wants to go to work, well, most people don't.  I don't mind work, I just don't like micromanagement and strict schedules.

Now what does this really have to do with anything?  Freedom in Christ.  Does this mean we can dispense with all the foolishness of schedules and such?  No.  Not even our job.  The Bible has several clear passages on how we are to conduct ourselves while in service to someone.  Here are some for you to look up, Romans 13: 1-14, Ephesians 6: 5-8, Colossians 3: 22-25, Hebrews 13:17, and 1 Timothy 6: 1-2.

As much as I don't like to be micromanaged by a person, I love when God micromanages me.  There is a comfort, a sense of security knowing He is there guiding me, helping me, teaching me.  No, I don't always feel like this.  Sometimes I just simply want to do what I want to do.  Don't we all.  But that is another part of freedom...free will.  That is how God created us.  

He loves us so much and He wants us to love Him, but not because He makes us, but because it is our choice.  He wants us to serve Him, because we want to.  Once you have given your life to Jesus this is something we should all desire, but we are selfish, self-centered human beings.  We kind of like life to be all about us.  We need to chose to put ourselves last and be filled daily with the Holy Spirit and surrender to the will of God.  

When we chose to serve God and follow His ways it is ultimately for our good.  Romans 13:2 says, "Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation".  So, it stands to reason that if we resist God we get damnation, then if we submit we will receive eternal life.  John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  But we have a choice.  We are not forced to serve God or even believe in Him.  God wants us to love Him because we chose to.

Doesn't that make sense though?  Who would want empty adoration?  How could you trust or love someone who just goes through the motions because you are forcing them to do something they don't want to do?  I know I wouldn't want someone that way.

Gracious Heavenly Father,
I thank you so much for loving me, even when I didn't love You, even when I mess up now, You are always there to pick up the pieces and get me through.  I praise You.  Father, life is busy sometimes and I humbly ask that You have Your Holy Spirit send gentle reminders to just slow down, listen, and turn our eyes on You.

In Jesus Name
Amen

                                                                                                                               

Fortress

I admit it, I'm a mess.  I try to keep it all together.  I read my Bible.  I pray.  But, still I'm a mess.

Sometimes everything inside is just a big jumble of contradictions.  I want to obey God, but I mess up so much.  It is like it says in Romans 7:19, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep doing". (NIV)

Remember the other day when I talked about forgiveness, well, I am struggling.  I say I have forgiven this person but I keep plotting revenge.  When I prayed and confessed the unforgiveness I felt such a peace and a release.  Next day I'm trying to figure out to get back at this person, how to inflict the most damage.  Me oh my.

I don't know about you, but this conflict going on inside is very uncomfortable.  I don't like being angry all the time, it makes my blood pressure go up (literally).  I just want to be done.  Move on. Get over it.  Easier said than done.

So what am I going to do about it?  Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more.  I need to realize just how hurt I was and give that hurt to Jesus.  Psalm 62 jumped out at me today as I was doing some reading,



Psalm 62
For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.


1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
    my salvation comes from him.

2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

3 How long will you assault me?
   Would all of you throw me down—
   this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

4 Surely they intend to topple me
   from my lofty place;
   they take delight in lies.
   With their mouths they bless,
   but in their hearts they curse.

5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
 my hope comes from him.

6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
 he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
   he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
   pour out your hearts to him,
   for God is our refuge.

9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
   the highborn are but a lie.
   If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
   together they are only a breath.

10 Do not trust in extortion
     or put vain hope in stolen goods;
     though your riches increase,
     do not set your heart on them.

11 One thing God has spoken,
     two things I have heard:
     “Power belongs to you, God,

12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
     and, “You reward everyone
     according to what they have done.”

I love verse 2, "Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

 he is my fortress, I will never be shaken".  I love this whole Psalm, but to think of my Father as a rock,  a big, immovable boulder and then a fortress--built with that strong rock.  How soul stirring is that.  How safe would you feel when you are under siege just knowing that nothing, no weapon, no words, no looks--absolutely nothing can get through to hurt you.  What a comfort.  

So tonight I will give this all to Jesus, my ROCK, my SALVATION, my FORTRESS, my REFUGE and I will move on...and tomorrow will be a better day.

Father in heaven,  I praise your HOLY NAME.  I thank you so much for Your word, for Your promises, for Your comfort You have written.  Father, I know I'm not the only one in the world who is struggling with unforgiveness, or any other sin, so Father, will you please help these dear ones and me, to really forgive, put it behind us.  Help us to move on Father and grow in Your grace.  I thank you for all You have done for me, but most of all I thank you for sending Your Son to die on the cross to save me.  I am so unworthy of such a magnificent gift,

In Jesus Name,

Amen 

What's in a Name

So, the name of this blog is a little misleading.  It is not a food blog, which explains why I haven't talked about food.

When I named this blog, I was going to blog about where I live here in the Umpqua Valley, a land truly flowing with milk and honey, but God had other plans.  Those plans worked right into the title.  How do you ask?  Let me tell you.

The phrase flowing with milk and honey makes me think of God's word, particularly a verse which would go great with a blog about the Umpqua Valley.  It is Numbers 13:27:  "Then they told him, and said: ""We went to the land where you sent us.  It truly flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit.""  This is the account of when Moses sent the twelve spies to spy out the land God had promised them.  Unfortunately for them it took them another 40 years to get there, but that is a different post, and maybe I'll throw a little Umpqua Valley in there too.

Anyway, there are other references to milk and honey in the Bible that talk more about God and Jesus and how we can grow from His word.

Let's start with Psalm 119:103-"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth".  Have you felt that way after reading God's word.  I have.  I love reading His word, studying His word, and thinking on His word.  It is like having a good meal with a sweet treat thrown in (and I said this wasn't a food blog, lol).

How about 1 Peter 2:1-3- "Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious".

Just as an invite, Psalm 34:8-"Oh taste an see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who trusts Him.  These verses just make me want to shout GLORY HALLELUJAH!

Feasting on His word, resting in His promises, knowing how much He loves and cares for us.  OH GLORY!

Now that is a land flowing with milk and honey, God's Word.

Father,
I thank you for Your word.  I thank you that You said it would not return void.  Fill our hearts with Your love.  Guide us as we read Your word and learn to feast on it.

In Jesus Name
Amen.

Forgiveness

Why is it that forgiveness is so hard? I always feel better when I forgive, yet, I tend to hang on to the anger, resentment, and bitterness.  Why?  Who am I making feel bad?  It usually isn't  the person who has hurt me.  It is me that is miserable.  So I ask, why?  Is it because the anger helps mask the ache in my heart and helps me get through my day?  Maybe.  It does seem to fuel me.

God has laid this post on my heart because, you guessed it, I am harboring unforgiveness in my heart. I have been hurt so I want to lash out or do something for revenge.  Yet, God's sweet voice keeps whispering in my ear, "Beth, I forgave you for a lot worse hurts than what you have suffered".  Wow. My toes have been stepped on.

I have been going to a Bible study with some co-workers and our study for this week was on patience and the part it plays in forgiveness.  There was some major conviction going on there.  In fact, writing a post and what to write about forgiveness popped into my mind.  Then I thought, but I don't want to forgive.  I want to be angry.  I don't want to write about it.  Why, because then I would have to deal with the unforgiveness.  God is tricky that way.  So, I decided I would write about something else.  My mind was absolutely blank, except for the word forgiveness.

As I am writing this my heart feels like it is going to burst under the conviction and my eyes are brimming with tears.  The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV) comes to mind:

21.  Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?  Up to seven times?  22.  Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  23.  "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  24.  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.  25.  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.  26.  "At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'  27.  The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.  28.  "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.  he grabbed him and began to choke him.  'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.  29.  "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back."  30.  "But he refused.  Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.  31.  When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.  32.  "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  33.  Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you.  34.  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.  35.  "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Now I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be tortured, which is what happens to us when we don't forgive.  Not forgiving has an impact on our body.  In an interview with Dr. Fred Luskin (who did a study on forgiveness) on PBS he states, "People are starting to understand that forgiveness can help your physical health as well."  Dr. Luskin also gives a definition of forgiveness, "that to forgive is to give up all hope for a better past".  Dr. Luskin also states, "Forgiveness allows you a fresh start, whether it's a big  insult or a small one.  It's like a rain coming to a polluted environment. It clears things".  Now I like that.  

I know for me being angry all the time doesn't make me feel good.  It gets those stress hormones going, the adrenaline pumping, which isn't good for our bodies either.  So, I guess I will have to take care of some business, sooner rather than later.

How about you?  Are you needing to forgive someone?  Would you like that peace and joy that only God can give back?  Let's pray:

Gracious Heavenly Father,

You have been so merciful to me to forgive me of all my sins.  You sent your Son to die for me.  That makes the forgiveness I received from you very costly.  Father, I confess that I hold unforgiveness in my heart.  I don't want it there, but I am so weak.  Father, help me to have a forgiving and merciful spirit.  Help me to forgive and move on.  Thank you Father for your mercy and grace.

In Jesus' precious Holy Name,

Amen.

The Unseen

SAD, seasonal affective disorder.  I have it and it does make you sad.  Sometimes very sad and you don't understand why, and neither does anyone else.  No, this is not going to be a poor me blog.  Why?  Because I am not the only person with SAD, or the only person with any problem.  There are a lot of you out there that are going through some very tough times.  So, I am not going to "whoa is me" you.  I want to offer help, comfort, understanding, a listening ear.

It is disheartening to feel so blue and have no one understand what is going on (me included).  To have people think you are a drama queen, having a bad day (that turns into weeks), a crybaby.  Do you know what  I mean?  There are so many illnesses out there that effect not only our bodies, but our emotions and personalities as well.  There are no scars or sores or marks of any kind.  They are invisible.  They are inside our bodies like those cancer cells growing, our brain chemicals that are not being produced in the right amounts, our nerves that send pain signals to our brain.

Now I'm no doctor and I can't fix what you are going through anymore than I can fix myself, but I do have words of comfort.

So, after I have let you read this far let me say, I am a Christian.  A born-again believer in Christ Jesus.  He is my comfort.  When I am sad he tells me "casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7.(KJV)  Easier said than done.  I know He cares for me, but do I immediately feel better after reading that?  No.  It takes more than just reading the words, it takes listening for that still small voice that says, "Beth, I've got your back.  I'm here and I understand what you are going through.  Trust me".  Trust Him and that peace that passes all understanding will come, no matter what you are going through.

Will we always be healed, miraculously or otherwise?  No.  Has God inflicted us?  No.  It says in James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows". (NIV)  So our pain and sorrow is not from God.  He gives us good gifts.  Can He use our pain and suffering?  You bet.  Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose". (KJV)  So, if you are reading this and have given your life to Christ, then you are called according to His purpose and He will use your trials to strengthen you and refine you.

If you have not given your life to Christ, it isn't hard.  It is an act of faith, of accepting His free gift of salvation.  How do you do it?  Romans 10 : 9-10 explain it very well, "That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  10.  For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation". (NKJV)

If you are ready to trust Jesus please pray this prayer:

Dear God,
I am a sinner, I've done things that weren't right and I'm sorry.  Please forgive me God for all that I have done.  God, I believe that Jesus is Your son, that He was crucified, buried three days, and rose from the dead on the third day.  I believe that He is now sitting at Your right hand.  I believe that His blood has covered my sins.  God, I give my life to you.  In Jesus Name Amen.

If you prayed the prayer, leave a comment, I would love to hear about it.  If you are already a believer, leave a comment, I would love to hear your story.  If you just want to leave nasty remarks, don't leave a comment.  If you do, I will delete it.

A new adventure awaits.  What will it be?  I don't know, but God is constantly surprising and amazing me on a daily basis.

                                                                              Beth