Confession

It is so easy to let sin into our lives.  Sometimes not intentionally, sometimes very intentionally. Letting even what we would consider a little sin in is never a good idea.  We tell ourselves, "just this once", or "it won't hurt anyone.  But, each time we give in it gets easier to do it again and again and again and sin starts to take root in our lives, a little like moss does on our roof.

When we let one little sin to take root in our lives and then water it by not confessing or repeating the sin, then it will grow and spread.  Just like moss.  Just one little piece from who knows where, a little rain, and viola, a moss covered fence, wall, path, you name it.  Now moss in general is not harmful, but when it gets on a roof it can break up your shingles, it holds water and pushes your shingles apart, then your roof starts to leak.  Just like when we let sin take root.  It might start out little, but each time we push the boundaries.  Soon, we are doing things that are destroying our lives and our families.   We need to stop feeding our sins, repent, and let God dry them up.  1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".

           

It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and putting what we want before what God wants for us. If we put Him first, He will be faithful to heal our relationships and lift us out of the sin.

Father, 

Forgive me for the thoughts I have that are not glorifying to you, forgive my ugly actions.  Help me Father to become more like Your son Jesus Christ.  

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Fortress

I admit it, I'm a mess.  I try to keep it all together.  I read my Bible.  I pray.  But, still I'm a mess.

Sometimes everything inside is just a big jumble of contradictions.  I want to obey God, but I mess up so much.  It is like it says in Romans 7:19, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep doing". (NIV)

Remember the other day when I talked about forgiveness, well, I am struggling.  I say I have forgiven this person but I keep plotting revenge.  When I prayed and confessed the unforgiveness I felt such a peace and a release.  Next day I'm trying to figure out to get back at this person, how to inflict the most damage.  Me oh my.

I don't know about you, but this conflict going on inside is very uncomfortable.  I don't like being angry all the time, it makes my blood pressure go up (literally).  I just want to be done.  Move on. Get over it.  Easier said than done.

So what am I going to do about it?  Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more.  I need to realize just how hurt I was and give that hurt to Jesus.  Psalm 62 jumped out at me today as I was doing some reading,



Psalm 62
For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.


1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
    my salvation comes from him.

2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

3 How long will you assault me?
   Would all of you throw me down—
   this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

4 Surely they intend to topple me
   from my lofty place;
   they take delight in lies.
   With their mouths they bless,
   but in their hearts they curse.

5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
 my hope comes from him.

6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
 he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
   he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
   pour out your hearts to him,
   for God is our refuge.

9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
   the highborn are but a lie.
   If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
   together they are only a breath.

10 Do not trust in extortion
     or put vain hope in stolen goods;
     though your riches increase,
     do not set your heart on them.

11 One thing God has spoken,
     two things I have heard:
     “Power belongs to you, God,

12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
     and, “You reward everyone
     according to what they have done.”

I love verse 2, "Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

 he is my fortress, I will never be shaken".  I love this whole Psalm, but to think of my Father as a rock,  a big, immovable boulder and then a fortress--built with that strong rock.  How soul stirring is that.  How safe would you feel when you are under siege just knowing that nothing, no weapon, no words, no looks--absolutely nothing can get through to hurt you.  What a comfort.  

So tonight I will give this all to Jesus, my ROCK, my SALVATION, my FORTRESS, my REFUGE and I will move on...and tomorrow will be a better day.

Father in heaven,  I praise your HOLY NAME.  I thank you so much for Your word, for Your promises, for Your comfort You have written.  Father, I know I'm not the only one in the world who is struggling with unforgiveness, or any other sin, so Father, will you please help these dear ones and me, to really forgive, put it behind us.  Help us to move on Father and grow in Your grace.  I thank you for all You have done for me, but most of all I thank you for sending Your Son to die on the cross to save me.  I am so unworthy of such a magnificent gift,

In Jesus Name,

Amen 

Forgiveness

Why is it that forgiveness is so hard? I always feel better when I forgive, yet, I tend to hang on to the anger, resentment, and bitterness.  Why?  Who am I making feel bad?  It usually isn't  the person who has hurt me.  It is me that is miserable.  So I ask, why?  Is it because the anger helps mask the ache in my heart and helps me get through my day?  Maybe.  It does seem to fuel me.

God has laid this post on my heart because, you guessed it, I am harboring unforgiveness in my heart. I have been hurt so I want to lash out or do something for revenge.  Yet, God's sweet voice keeps whispering in my ear, "Beth, I forgave you for a lot worse hurts than what you have suffered".  Wow. My toes have been stepped on.

I have been going to a Bible study with some co-workers and our study for this week was on patience and the part it plays in forgiveness.  There was some major conviction going on there.  In fact, writing a post and what to write about forgiveness popped into my mind.  Then I thought, but I don't want to forgive.  I want to be angry.  I don't want to write about it.  Why, because then I would have to deal with the unforgiveness.  God is tricky that way.  So, I decided I would write about something else.  My mind was absolutely blank, except for the word forgiveness.

As I am writing this my heart feels like it is going to burst under the conviction and my eyes are brimming with tears.  The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV) comes to mind:

21.  Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?  Up to seven times?  22.  Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  23.  "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  24.  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.  25.  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.  26.  "At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'  27.  The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.  28.  "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.  he grabbed him and began to choke him.  'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.  29.  "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back."  30.  "But he refused.  Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.  31.  When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.  32.  "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  33.  Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you.  34.  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.  35.  "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Now I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be tortured, which is what happens to us when we don't forgive.  Not forgiving has an impact on our body.  In an interview with Dr. Fred Luskin (who did a study on forgiveness) on PBS he states, "People are starting to understand that forgiveness can help your physical health as well."  Dr. Luskin also gives a definition of forgiveness, "that to forgive is to give up all hope for a better past".  Dr. Luskin also states, "Forgiveness allows you a fresh start, whether it's a big  insult or a small one.  It's like a rain coming to a polluted environment. It clears things".  Now I like that.  

I know for me being angry all the time doesn't make me feel good.  It gets those stress hormones going, the adrenaline pumping, which isn't good for our bodies either.  So, I guess I will have to take care of some business, sooner rather than later.

How about you?  Are you needing to forgive someone?  Would you like that peace and joy that only God can give back?  Let's pray:

Gracious Heavenly Father,

You have been so merciful to me to forgive me of all my sins.  You sent your Son to die for me.  That makes the forgiveness I received from you very costly.  Father, I confess that I hold unforgiveness in my heart.  I don't want it there, but I am so weak.  Father, help me to have a forgiving and merciful spirit.  Help me to forgive and move on.  Thank you Father for your mercy and grace.

In Jesus' precious Holy Name,

Amen.